Are you feeling frustrated about never reaching your goals?

19 June 2010

Step #1 - Be aware of your thoughts

I remember an unenlightened time in my life after getting divorced; on my half hour drive home from work, my mind was constantly regurgitating the stories from the past, ten years of crap, and I can tell you, I was in a bad mood by the time I got home from work. Ten minutes later so was everyone else around me. One day I caught myself wound up in these thoughts. Once I realised the destructiveness being caused in my life, and the hold I was allowing the Ex to have over me due to my own focus, I determined to change it. Day by day I would ‘catch’ myself in those thoughts and then change them to something else and every day I would ‘catch’ myself a little earlier. One day I got home in a great mood and realised I hadn’t spent any time in the past, on that trip home. The emotional energy was dissipated. My Ex no longer had any emotional hold over me, a hold that was all in my head.

Step outside your head for a moment and look in, take time to listen to your thoughts. Catch yourself thinking at odd moments of the day. Examine the outcome your focus gives you. Is your focus a supportive, nurturing, creative force in your life? If not….

Step #2 - Choose your thoughts

That’s right, simple isn’t it. If you don’t like what you see in your head then throw it out and pick a new thought. If you’re angry – look at the thoughts that lead to the anger and choose something that sounds better. Just as taking the same action will lead to the same outcome so does always thinking the same thought. When a situation is happening that you don’t like, look for a different option to filter in, listen to a variant viewpoint, feel a different possible outcome, then you have the freedom of three different choices, three different outcomes which means you have the freedom to create your own future.

Step #3 - Be ecological in your choices

This stuff is powerful and you are doing it the entire time wether you have awareness of it or not. I wrote a list once of all the qualities I wanted in a boyfriend and my unconscious mind filtered every guy I met through that list. When I eventually got a man and checked him off against the list I was surprised that he met every criterion on the list – and I mean everything. Shame I didn’t know then about checking the list against my true values. The relationship didn’t last because the list was superficial (in my defence I was a lot younger then ?)

There is no good or evil, right or wrong when it comes to focus. What you focus on is what you get. A simple tip to ensure your focus is good for you is to add to the end of every request ‘be it in mine, my loved ones, my community and the environments best interests’ (or whatever is important to you). Your unconscious mind will do the rest. So for example, when it is filtering the guy with the things on the list, it will also filter in the ecology of goodness.

Have fun playing with your focus, put it to a simple test and see the outcomes you can achieve.

Sue Crosbie